"I am reborn and I feel great. I didn't think that I would feel any different. Before going on the mountain I thought I was okay and that this experience would be fun. I really didn't think that much would happen and I was going to prove it. I had fun writing my obituary and reading the one my father wrote for me. I thought it was cool because I'm not afraid of dying.

Right!  Then why did I cry like a baby through the whole ceremony? It surprised me and I tried to suppress it, but it kept bubbling out. And then I said to myself ‘I hate saying Goodbye.’ All the loneliness that I felt when I left home and came to the States, when I left my friends and family and when I said goodbye, came pouring out. All the times that I kissed my mother and father, sisters and brothers goodbye and held in the tears to appear strong knowing that I wouldn't see them again for years.  

I cried last night. I mourned my grandmother, I mourned my father-in-law, I mourned, I cried and it felt good. I don't know if feeling proud of oneself is ego, but I felt proud of me especially when I shed my clothing for bathing. I died last night and it was hard, and I wanted to be reborn in the proper way. I wanted to experience the moment to its fullest. The old inhibitions were dead and the new brave me is here.

This morning as I sat under my spirit blanket and listened to Sherry sing her beautiful spirit song, I heard all around her an echo in harmony. While Sherry voiced her spirit or herself in the waters, I got the feeling that I need to do that. I need to let my voice be heard and not be afraid to express myself in anyway that I feel like. I used to hold it in so as not to appear different. No more!

What happens next?  That is hard. To keep what I experienced here and who I am here and be that person every day will take a lot of conscious effort. I will need to use all of my WILL and determination to move forward and not go backwards. I am reborn and can only go forward and I must remind myself of that every morning.  I need to greet each day early and with celebration and enthusiasm. No more sleeping to escape life. I am reborn. In the fire, I cast the old me and I burned, and the new me came out of the waters fresh and unblemished.  I have shed the wall that I built around myself. I thought it was my protection, but it was my prison. Now I am surrounded by the Truth and that is my protection and I am free."

Four years later Monica is still our student, a personal apprentice. And after 4 years of inner and outer work, she has brought her voice into the world. With happiness and excitement, Sher and I recommend her new book: Goodbye, My Irish Child by Monica McCormack-Sheehan. (ISBN: 1-4137-1989-9)

On the dedication page of the copy of the book that she gifted us with are the following words:

“Dear Capt’n and Sherry,

My life would not be the same today, and this book would never have been written if not for ye’er influence and guidance in my life.

Thank you so much.

Love,

Monica